Words Week Area Research 3pm

Me, myself and I

Catherine Woulfe looks at why psychologists are telling us to spend  more time alone.

MORE than 300,000 New Zealanders live all by themselves. That's one in five. All those people! Alone! Miserable, probably. Getting drunk and weepy, and singing along to power ballads, for sure.

But science is starting to chip away at the idea that alone equals lonely. Research is showing that the benefits of time spent alone can be profound – it boosts creativity, mood, empathy and memory, and decreases stress.

Meanwhile, How to be Alone, a long and corny poem by Canadian Tanya Davis, has exceeded three million hits on YouTube. “If you are at first lonely, be patient,” it begins, before launching into how to go solo (smell books at the library, take yourself to dinner, turn off your phone, sit on park benches). She paints solitude as a sort of delicious floatiness.

“Society is afraid of alone though. Like lonely hearts are wasting away in basements… But lonely is a freedom that breathes easy and weightless, and lonely is healing if you make it…”

Dr Susan Hayes, a clinical psychologist working in Auckland, is certain solitude is about to have its time in the sun.

“There’s a very strong human need for just space, to recharge. I think our culture is very judgmental about aloneness and I’m not sure where that came from. I mean, we are social animals and we do need social interaction… We do need and crave a sense of belonging and connection to others, but we also need and crave space to ourselves, just to think. And I think a lot of us get peopled-out without realising it.”

Consider the busy executive, says Hayes, “getting calls all the time and having dinner with people in the evenings and coming home and sitting on Facebook, and all your weekends are spent catching up with people. There’s just not enough downtime to recover.”

These people often turn up in Hayes’ office wound up like springs, she says, anxious and exhausted, overstimulated, not sleeping, “just go-go-go-go-go. They’re bombarded with other people.”

But why is the absence of others so crucial in undoing this?

Hayes explains that even when we do ‘unwindy’ things like curling up with a book and a Milo, if there’s another person around, our brains betray us. “A lot of your focus is actually on what they’re saying, what they’re wanting. You’re watching their body language, you’re concentrating on non-verbal cues. Even if you don’t realise it, you’re tuned into them and what they’re doing, which takes your attention away from what’s happening inside you.

Learn the Courier In A Week

Day 1.

Arriving at the office of the Courier Mail, I surprisingly find the revolving door isn’t revolving and all other entry points are locked.

A security guard eventually opens a door for me and I meet with the other interns (including Harry from class) while our contact is notified.

First we attend training which occupies our time until lunch and look around the building.

The office reminds me of a sardine tin only much bigger, there are over 1000 people working autonomously, a cafe, cafeteria, library and television screens everywhere.

Television screens sound great but there is never time to watch.

I will be working in the feature-arts section of the paper, TV Editor Geoff Shearer is the man in charge – although I later find out his staff disagree, but he is helpful right away getting me involved.

Towards the end of the day I’m given the opportunity to work on two feature-stories and need to come up with some ideas for the Radar section in the paper.

Tuesday will be busy.

Day 2.

I have been working into the night researching my articles and will interview stage performer Paul Watson today.

He is proving evasive as I try to get the interview over early.

Finally I talk with Paul at lunchtime which is great, I can get to work writing.

The article comes together fairly well and will go to print Friday. (When I say well I mean it was lots of work but the end product was sufficient)

I am asked to research the Smurfs for a Radar article on my way out the door – strange concept, but I research from home.

Day 3.

Starting to settle in now and find myself enjoying the environment more each day.

Interviewing David Hinchliffe first up for a feature story, he is donating time and art for a charity event, sounds like an interesting article.

I also start writing the Smurf story for Radar.

The Hinchliffe interview goes really well, however I would have liked to ask a few more questions – he was due in council but I think I have enough.(2.5 pages of notes)

I finish the Smurf story by 3pm and start on the Hinchliffe article. Smurf will print next Thursday

The first half of the story come together really well and I take it home to continue working.

It is mostly finished by the time State of Origin starts so I watch the game.

Go Queensland

Day 4.

The Academy and literature

Spare rib

Lonely Planet Slovenia

Great Travel Photography

Los Angeles & Southern California